From "Out of Bounds"
From Weaver and Bonifer's Out of Bounds: The young men who populate the prep teams must wonder at times why they go through with it. A coach hands you a ball and designates you Bob Griese of Purdue. You know for a fact that you can't throw that ball like Bob Griese, and you have serious doubts that your line will protect you like Griese's line protects him. But that doesn't alter the frightful vision of a ton and a half of varsity defense waiting across the line, stomping and snorting and growling, imagining that you're Bob Griese, and painting a mental bullseye on your sternum. It can be a long season. That's why, when the preppers' have had an especially brutal year they throw a banquet for themselves. A licking of the wounds. Appetizers, main course and dessert consist mainly of beer - several cubic yards of it, downed with great enthusiasm. Then there's the highlight of the evening: crowning of the Least Valuable Player.To choose the LVP the preppers view a practice scrimmage film and vote on the player least talented at his position. Competition is keen. There are always a boat-load of preppers who are genuinely rotten; the problem is to narrow the choice to a single inept individual. One year a cornerback (whom we'll call Digby) had tossed down a good many brews and was lobbying loudly for the award: "I should get it," he argued. "There's no one who means less to this team than I do. You've heard of guys who can do it all? -well, I can't do any of it. Without me, Notre Dame might have been the national champion!" But the film was the final judge. Midway through the showing Digby flashed onto the screen. He had the perfect angle to tackle Nick Eddy along the sideline. Eddy dipped a shoulder. Digby spun around and fell like a man who'd just had his ankles yanked by a rope. He didn't lay a hand on the runner . "Digby!" cried the preppers when the film had ended. "Digby's got it!" There was general consensus that his play on Eddy was one of the worst ever captured on film. * * * * * *No sooner did Ara Parseghian become coach than Sports Information Director Charlie Callahan got a call from his opposite number at Purdue. "Okay, Charlie" said the Boilermaker SID, "spell it for me." "Easy," answered Callahan. "P-a-r-s-e-g-h-i-a-n." "Now, I want to see if you've learned how to spell Presbyterian." * * * * * *
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